We all strive for a healthy, loving relationship with our partner. While we often hear that “marriage takes work,” it’s rarely explained what this work entails on a day-to-day basis. Many people commit to regular exercise to strengthen their body and maintain their physical and mental health, but they don’t set aside similar time each week to nurture their relationship. Additionally, our educational systems don’t teach us how to build successful relationships, and many of us lack healthy relationship models, given that at least 50% of us come from divorced families, and another 20-30% come from families where parents were unhappy or disconnected.
Most people begin relationships with the best intentions, full of hope, energy, and commitment. However, over time, life happens, and challenges like work, children, in-laws, and finances can erode the fabric of any relationship unless the couple intentionally attends to it. No long-term relationship is without challenges. Often, we ignore problems initially, hoping they will go away. When they don’t, we may try unsuccessfully to address them and then resign ourselves to a lack of fulfillment, finding satisfaction elsewhere, such as with children or work. For some, the relationship deteriorates into destructive conflict, which often includes finger-pointing and blaming. However, there is hope if the couple has the courage to choose change. These very challenges can become opportunities to grow and expand as individuals and as a couple.
My Goal for Couples in Therapy
My goal for couples in therapy is to help create or re-create a mutually satisfying relationship that is rewarding, deep, and fulfilling, allowing you to grow in the face of conflict, challenge, and change. To achieve this, couples often need to learn the art of communication, listening in a way that leads to understanding, managing powerful emotions, and sharing their feelings productively. I help couples differentiate between healthy and destructive conflict, communicating through tension towards better understanding and emotional closeness. We identify the four levels of intimacy and work to deepen the connection. I help couples develop tools to practice connection and resolve conflict.
My Approach
My approach is to increase the couple’s awareness of their patterns of thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that create conflict and disconnection. Once aware of these patterns, couples have the option to respond in healthier ways rather than automatically reacting and repeating the same patterns. In therapy, couples learn concepts and tools that promote emotional connection and depth in their relationship.
I also believe in identifying and celebrating the positives in a relationship. Building on each partner’s strengths and the couple as a unit creates hope, which inspires the desire to be at our best with our partner.
In conclusion, I believe all of us want to be happy in our life, and happiness is largely determined by our relationships, especially with our partners. With awareness, effort, and willingness, our relationship can be the most rewarding journey of all.
Couples Therapy Options:
1) In-Office Couples Therapy Sessions
- 90-minute sessions: Ideal for crises, high conflict, or significant unrest. Longer sessions create stability and restore productive communication.
- 50-minute sessions: Suitable for working on communication and minor conflicts.
2) Concierge Services
Concierge psychotherapy services offer flexible, personalized therapy tailored to the needs of individuals or couples. This option provides more location options, particularly for those requiring privacy or increased accessibility (e.g., public figures, corporate executives).
Options include:
- In-Home Therapy: Individual and couple sessions in the privacy of your home.
- Intensive Couples Therapy:
- Extended Length Sessions: 90 minutes to 3 hours, either in-office or at home.
- Costs:
- In-Office: $450 for 90 minutes, $600 for 2 hours, $900 for 3 hours
- In-Home: Above rates plus travel time
- Costs:
- Private Couples Retreat:
- Extended Length Sessions: 90 minutes to 3 hours, either in-office or at home.
Our private couples retreat offers a 5-7 day immersion experience for just the two of you, in a tropical setting, often all-inclusive, specifically tailored to address your unique struggles and challenges. This retreat allows couples to step away from their daily routines and immerse themselves in an environment conducive to slowing down, reflecting, and fostering enhanced openness. The retreat format provides the opportunity for individualized attention over an extended period, which is often more effective for deep and lasting change.
Couples choose this retreat for various reasons, including:
- Relationship Crisis: Such as infidelity or other significant disruptions.
- A Last Effort: To save a “stuck” or failing relationship.
- Life Transitions: Such as adjusting to an empty nest or retirement.
- Relationship Enrichment: To deepen and expand their connection.
Daily Schedule:
Each day includes a morning and an afternoon session, with free time in between for the couple to relax and enjoy the beautiful surroundings. This structure ensures that couples have ample time to process their experiences and connect with each other. Additionally, I am available throughout the day to provide extra support and guidance as needed.
The retreat offers an immersive, supportive environment designed to foster growth, healing, and a deeper connection between partners.
Cost: $5000 plus expenses
3) Multi-Couple Marriage/Couple Enrichment Workshops
Held twice per year (spring and fall), these workshops help couples learn more about each other and their relationship, improve communication, and deepen intimacy. Workshops take place over the weekend (Saturday and Sunday). See Retreat page for upcoming workshops.